Skilful Means
When you hear the word “compassion,” what do you think of? Something like this?
If only it were that easy! My Dharma grandfather was known to say that wisdom without compassion is not real wisdom and compassion without wisdom is not true compassion. They must work together.
As well-meaning, goodhearted people, it can be confusing when compassion looks like something other than this gif. But think of the parent who yells fiercely at a child who was just about to step into a busy street without looking both ways. That fierceness IS compassion. It isn’t love and light but it is love being offered in exactly the correct way for the situation. We can be fierce - even angry - if we are clear where the intentions are rooted and we take no pleasure in being fierce or angry. That last piece is important.
I have been participating in a tarot workshop led by a friend and tarot expert, Shea in the Catskills. I wrote out three paragraphs on how amazing she is and, in particular, how the way that she uses tarot is amazing but it seemed like a bit too much of a digression. So I will say this much: please, check out her website and I urge to sign up for her workshop(s). You will not be disappointed!
Personally, I know almost nothing about tarot. I am thoroughly enjoying Shea’s wise and gentle guidance in the workshop. I especially love that she encourages us to set aside the books and simply report what we see when we pull a card in response to a question. It feels very yogic to me - a form of pariksha or pramāna (direct, correct perception). In this way, it is upaya. Upaya is a Sanskrit word that means tool or, as it is defined in my Zen community, a skilful means to be used towards liberation. Almost anything can become upaya if it is rooted in wisdom and compassion.
The card above is the card that I pulled in response to the question, “what do I need to support me as I move through what is blocking me.”
Say what??!
When I pulled it, I could barely even look at it because it is so violent! How was this supposed to be helpful and supportive? Here is where Shea is so remarkable. She knows just the right question to ask at just the right moment. She asked, what needs to die in order for you to feel supported where you are blocked or stuck?
Instantly, it was clear. I have a pattern of thinking that arises out of some very real, very old causes and conditions. These thoughts have been quite believable my whole life. But they are keeping me small. They hinder my ability to give and to receive. It is only in the last several weeks that I have become painfully aware of them and can see how they cause harm to myself and others. So, when a thought like this arose the morning after the tarot workshop where I pulled this card, I knew what to do: kill that f*cker! Stab it in the eye until it is dead. No more pussyfooting around, no more compromise or debate. Kill. It. Dead.
Wisdom, compassion and upaya. We need all three.
